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5. Michigan
The Wolverines sort of got a double win, depantsing a respected and then-ranked BYU team and then watching Utah go all chainsaw guy in a horror movie out in Eugene, Ore., fueling the benefit of The Transitive Property of the Good Loss. That last sentence made me vomit. The truth is, Michigan looks dramatically improved from week one, and by gosh, that’s all Jim Harbaugh said he was after. Michigan plays the way they did Saturday, they can contend for the Big Ten probably way ahead of when people thought they would. That has to suck for the rest of the conference, who figured they’d at least get a year or two before the train came rolling through.
4. Texas A&M
Near as I can tell, the Aggies just flat out survived in a road game in their own state against a team not in their state when more fans of theirs were there than the other team. The Hogs pretty much had to go full Bielema to get it done for TAMU, but at this point it’s just staying alive. Kyle Allen is so underrated when he has to be good, it’s nuts. Their schedule will take care of itself, but a small bit of shine was taken off of their win over Arizona State when USC basically housed the heck out of them.
3. Southern Cal
Their thorough dismembering of Arizona State makes you wonder how in the heck they looked so impotent, especially on defense, against Stanford the week prior. Those two weeks were moodier than a teenage girl. Still, the original intent of what USC was supposed to be was evident this past weekend. I think (and this is me speaking for people that matter, as opposed to, say, me) people see the talent at USC and they will have their shot accordingly. Stanford looks more like the aberration than the rule, but the rule tends to be “Stanford owns USC” so who knows. It’s all a riddle.
2. UCLA
My personal favorite part of the game was the fact that Jim Mora, Jr. rocks the sweat stained cap. Old, beat up hats that you wear until forever ends are a lost fashion, pulled in favor of the clean, flat billed hat that looks like you actually tried to match to your outfit, which is shameful. I digress. It was unfortunate that Anu Solomon went out, but it doesn’t take away from how damn salty UCLA looked. Sky’s the limit for them, even with those horrific looking uniforms that look like a bad middle school iron-on craft project.
1. Utah
The Utes are suddenly the plain looking girl that gets no attention in her circle of friends that finally throws on some makeup, heels, and a short skirt and goes out to the bar. You have no choice but to crane your neck and pay some mind. That’s what happens when you wallop Oregon at their joint. Regardless of whether or not Oregon has regressed a bit from the up and down powerhouse they’ve been the last several years, you just don’t go in THERE and steal their cookies, cuddle with their wives, and throw their football with their kids. They look playoff-contending timber.
