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If you’re looking for a reason to be glass-half-empty tonight, the college football season for most teams is about 33 percent done. Yep, it’s going by that quickly.
Nobody does awards in thirds anymore, or ever. Three is the loneliest number. Everyone does preseason, quarterly, mid-season, blah, blah, but no one carves things into thirds. You never get a working progress report in April and August. With that, I will bail “three” out of lonely jail and tell you where things are as we stand with arbitrary awards that have no meaning or reward past recognition the eight people reading may give it before saying, “this guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
Heisman Trophy
1. C.J. Prosise, RB, Notre Dame
Yes, I know Leonard Fournette is made of twisted titanium birthed from some amalgam of space rocks, King Kong, Batman, and Adrian Peterson, but Prosise has (in my feeble opinion) done his work against better opponents and with more barriers to success (read: everyone on Notre Dame’s offense is hurt).
Heisman Invitees
2. Leonard Fournette, LSU
3. Jared Goff, Cal
4. Nick Chubb, Georgia
Analysis: ALL OF THE RUNNING BACKS. Hopefully, in this imaginary world, they’re nice to Goff.
Coach of the Year
Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern
Lot of candidates here, but I don’t think most saw the ‘Cats being here, and the Stanford win looks better every week. This might be half of the Big Ten title game.
Anti-Coach of the Year
Bert Bielema, Arkansas
Misspelled intentionally.
Best New Coach
Jim Harbaugh, Michigan & Jim McElwain, Florida (so many Jim’s!)
To be honest, both are ahead of the projected pace set by non-Michigan and Florida people.
Top Freshman
Christian Kirk, WR, Texas A&M
He’s the Everclear of college football to D-coordinators. One chug and that might be it for you on the night.
Top Defensive Player
Myles Garrett, DL, Texas A&M
Ole boy is top 10 in sacks and forced fumbles, top 15 in tackles for loss. That’s how it’s done, kids.
Most Surprising Team (positive)
Northwestern Wildcats
It doesn’t change the fact that there’s no place to park or eat when you go to a game in Evanston.
Most Surprising Team (negative)
Nebraska Cornhuskers
Must. Avoid. Saying. Anything. About. Bo. Pelini. Last time, Nebraska Twitter wasn’t happy with me.
Most Exciting Game
TCU @ Texas Tech
Most Surprising Game
Utah clubbing Oregon by 42 in Eugene
Win at the time we didn’t think was a big deal but it might actually be now that we know stuff
Northwestern over Stanford
Win at the time we thought was a big deal for sure but actually might not be now that we know stuff
Michigan State over Oregon
Best Play
Tanner Mangum heave to win at Nebraska on opening weekend
Most We Have to Be Offended By Everything Moment
Jim McElwain getting angry at a player. The horror. Oh, and celebrations. All of them. Everyone hates fun, and obviously, discipline.
Three Things I Already Have Been Wrong About
1. Arkansas isn’t winning the SEC. Nor are they coming close
2. Nebraska isn’t playing for the Big Ten title. Nor are they coming close.
3. Cincinnati isn’t going to win around 11 games. Nor are … eh, you get the point.
Things I Already Have Been Right About
1. People were jumping on the Auburn bandwagon way too soon
2. Michigan will be immediately much improved in Harbaugh Year One
3. Northwestern will be better than people expect
Three Predictions For the Final Two-Thirds of the Season
1. Northwestern will win the Big Ten West
2. Texas A&M will win the SEC West
3. An ACC team will make the playoff while a Big 12 team again gets left out
CFB Playoff Projections now that some things are known
1. Ohio State, 2. Georgia, 3. Southern California, 4. Clemson
