There’s a dark underside to just about every good thing in life.
In the town with the fun, vibrant nightlife, it’s the unmarked club down a small alley where you need a password to get in; it’s the best restaurant in town, just as long as you don’t go in the kitchen and ruin it for yourself; a few jokes between friends turn into an all-out brawl that spills out onto the porch.
Or… it’s college football recruiting and what happens when it goes wrong.
For all the fun of it — the cottage industry it’s become, the coronation and charm of young people taking one last gasp at being young meshed with the obtuse creepiness of middle-aged people who care too much — there’s a salty side of it, too.
Which brings us to Mike Weber.
A month ago, had you asked most people (myself included) who Mike Weber was, you’d have gotten one of those classic looks of a person confused as to if he should know who you’re talking about and desperately trying to make something up as to not look detached from society.
Weber is apparently one of the top recruits in the state of Michigan, a running back who originally committed to Michigan; backed out during their coaching staff upheaval; ended up committing to Ohio State; signed there … and that’s where it starts getting interesting.
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After signing his letter of intent to go to Columbus Wednesday, he found out that the Buckeyes’ running backs coach, Stan Drayton, would be leaving to go to the Chicago Bears. Weber was blindsided. His high school coach took to the media to suggest that Ohio State coach Urban Meyer will need to “step his game up” if he plans on recruiting at powerful Cass Tech in the future.
In short, Weber — who tweeted out that he was “hurt as hell” by Drayton’s departure — and his high school coach felt a bit deceived. It would have been plenty easy to be up front with Weber and confess to him that had he gone to Ohio State, the contact that he forged a bond with would be leaving immediately.
Shortly thereafter, Michigan fans apparently showed their backside, because Weber’s mother blasted the Michigan fan base on Facebook about the ugly things they’d said to her son when he de-committed, and then in response to the juxtaposition of how they treated him when they thought perhaps he might come back in the fold, as it was rumored could happen after Jim Harbaugh was hired and began recruiting him.
“Now these are adults attacking my child,” Weber’s mom admonished.
For starters, let’s deal with the first part of this, which is Drayton leaving. We all know the fluidity of employment. Absent maybe a handful of college football coaches, there is always upward mobility in some way or another, let alone for a position coach. When the majority of us find someone who wants to promote us, be they the same place we’re at or somewhere else, we jump at it more often than not.
But the reality of it is, Drayton and Ohio State could have been adult-like and honest with Weber, even if it meant losing him to a different school. Johnny Columnist can lament the decision-making of a teenager who goes to a school because of a coach rather than a program or system, but the reality of it is, these are human beings with families. You entrust yourself and your son to someone you trust, no matter what “system” they run.
To think otherwise is naive and a bit much to ask of a teenager. While yes, players should go into any recruiting situation with the understanding that the people recruiting them might not be there their entire career, they should also go in knowing whether or not that “entire career” is going to change in a 24-hour period.
Everyone’s situation is different, and leaving home for four years — more often than people want to think — comes down to the relationships and trust forged. Think about it, if your son came to you as an elite recruit and said, “I know School X might be better for me in the long run, but I don’t trust School X’s coaches, and Coach Smith at School Y really has my best interests at heart and I trust him. Where do you think I should go?”, how would YOU react, especially as a parent, where recruiting often means recruiting parents/guardians/coaches as well as players?
It’s Fantasy Island to expect kids to not play at places where they trust the people charged with recruiting them. Live on Fantasy Island if you must.
That all said, surely Ohio State will learn from this situation, and hopefully Weber will go on to have the trust and success he seeks in his future.
The other part of this is the Michigan part, specifically how you’d be best off not showing your ass if you’re a fan. Social media gives us a lot, specifically the unedited, unfiltered voice to the world at any and every time. Using it to harass high school kids on their college choice is forever one of the worst ways to use it.
Weber was obviously affected by the things said to him by fans, and it seemingly trickled over to family members as well. DO NOT TWEET AT RECRUITS. EVER. If you don’t think there’s any logic in that sentence, realize this … not only is it a horrible thing to do, but you’re hurting your school’s chance even if it’s just a small piece of the puzzle at getting recruits to look your school’s way.
Now, I’m not nearly suggesting Weber is in Ann Arbor if everything is a pat on the back when he shoved off to Ohio State rather than Michigan. However, there’s no upside to trying to make a person feel terrible, and in this case, you didn’t help your school at all.
Weber’s mother going public is the shrapnel from being a slap on social media, and now everyone who follows college football knows that negatively harassing athletes on their college choices does have an impact on how players feel about that school. As if you needed any more evidence to JUST NOT DO IT.
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At any rate, these are two lessons we have to re-learn every year it seems, and it sucks. There’s a de-humanization to it at some level, reducing teenagers with high athletic talent to star ratings and recruiting website class rankings rather than seeing this process for what it is: a young person making one of the paramount decisions of his life and a family going through the whirlwind of emotions that harkens back to just how quickly it goes from diapers to diplomas.
In all phases of this stuff, two questions should always be answered when on the cusp of thinking about recruiting:
1. How did I act when I was a late teenager?
2. How would I react to this situation if my child was at the center of it?
If we bother to answer those questions every year around this time — be it as a coach, parent, player, fan, or antagonist — this seedy sect of college sports becomes a slightly better place.
