Your weekly “things to rant about in college football that aren’t worth a full column” is here. Do enjoy.
1. The pressure never fails to show up
“Under Pressure” is without question my favorite Queen song, and one of the best lines in it is “Insanity laughs under pressure we’re cracking.” Every year, we look at doomsday scenarios as unbeaten teams force narratives we didn’t expect in the beginning of the season. And every year, teams wilt under the late-season pressure of being in contention. Houston … carrying that last Gang of Five flag … showed up limp at mediocre UConn. Oklahoma State got whipped by Baylor on their home turf. Notre Dame went to their Gethsemane, Boston College, and survived. Ohio State self-immolated, at long last.
This is why the CFB Playoff never needs to go beyond four teams, and most years, four teams is generous. The sport figures itself out because the regular season is set up for a culling at the witching hour. Going unbeaten for eight or nine weeks is cute, but when you start getting to those last few games, it starts to hit, that pressure. The pressure more often than not wins. “Can’t we give ourselves one more chance?” Nope. Not often in college football.
2. Christian Hackenberg is the Andrew Luck of college football
Everybody has that meat place in town where, if you want to spend an arm and a leg for a really good steak, you go there. Then, you bring the thing home and cook the thing well done and completely ruin the steak by not giving it a chance to be its best. After watching Hackenberg get harassed due once again to basically a sieve of an offensive line, the conclusion is that he’s Andy Luck. Luck is a more talented version of David Carr in the sense that his general manager hasn’t been able to load up with dudes to protect him successfully, so he gets shelled. I’m not sure Hackenberg is in the same place in terms of the mistakes in personnel, but he’s been thrashed in his time at PSU because they’ve just never been able to consistently get a decent line in front of him enough to either establish a running game or keep him upright and 98 degrees. At least when he goes to some terrible NFL team with a rusty front office, he’ll know what’s coming. “Why should we draft you?” – Some guy working for the Browns. “Because I have experience getting slaughtered by the other team’s defensive players, so I feel prepared for what’s coming, sir.” – CH.
3. Jameis Winston is good, not surprisingly
This might be out of place since it’s technically an NFL thing, but one of the rare calls I’ve gotten somewhat right is that Jameis Winston was a cannot miss draft pick. The Bucs are 5-5 after he threw FIVE touchdown passes in a paddling of the Philadelphia Eagles. You don’t hear much about Winston mostly because people don’t like him, don’t want to like him, and refuse to acknowledge if he does anything well because of that. The only point here is, if you’re going to blather on about sports, it’s worth putting yourself in a position where you allow your mind to be changed. It’s the same in all things. If you cannot answer the question, “what evidence would change your mind?”, there’s a problem. It fits with the playoff rankings, too. What happens if Alabama loses again? Is there a point where “they play the toughest schedule because they’re in the SEC” guy is willing to admit what series of events would change his mind on that thought? Winston was going to be good, and it was obvious. Now that he is, you don’t hear much, now do you?
4. Grown men act like teenagers too
Absent the irony of former Iowa State offensive coordinator Mark Mangino making a fat joke at someone else’s expense, it’s always important to note that age is a number and not an indicator of maturity. Mangino, from his @KeepSawinWood Twitter account, grave danced on Paul Rhoads being canned in the midst of blowing a 21-point lead to decimated Kansas State. It’s impossible to know what led to Mangino being fired (unlike, say, from Kansas), and maybe the blood is bad, but sometimes you’re better off just pumping your fist on the couch. Especially since a lot of those players feeling depressed in the locker room are guys you recruited and got to know. Wood is easier to chop, anyway.
“Bonus” Thought
Bonus being in quotations in this case because it may just dumb you down. Seeing as it’s Thanksgiving … time to complain about something, right? Actually, this is just something that bothers me. It’s morally bankrupt of retail stores to be open on Thanksgiving for “Black Friday” deals.
Anyone ever see Mr. CEO or Vice President get out of his easy chair in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner to put on his work clothes to go leave his family and get harassed by people wanting stuff for pennies on the dollar? Places like Kohl’s, Target, K-Mart, Macy’s, and Sears (6 p.m.) should be ashamed of themselves. JC Penny (3 p.m.!) should be flat out boycotted year-round for doing this to their poor staff. For crying out loud, let people have some time with their families … like all the fat cats in the board room all are. I feel horrible for anyone that has to work retail in general, because it’s thankless, miserable work. But these companies should be absolutely ashamed of what they’re doing to their employees. No chance I’m supporting any of them this holiday season, and zero chance I’m nuts enough to go shopping on Black Friday in general. A good policy to go by is: if I won’t do it, I shouldn’t make my staff do it. For shame.
Beer of the Week: Wells Sticky Toffee Pudding Ale
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