Florida head coach Jim McElwain celebrates by doing the Gator Chomp after a 28-27 win against Tennessee at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium in Gainesville, Fla., on Saturday, Sept. 26, 2015. (Stephen M. Dowell/Orlando Sentinel/TNS via Getty Images)

Week 5 Underdogs to watch out for

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Water always finds its own level.

That’s a pop culture idiom which takes liberties from Robert Caro’s line in one of his books: “Water seeks its own level.” Saying “finds” tends to indicate it gets to its level regardless of desire. “Seeks” sort of indicates it looks for its own level.

Thus is the most boring intro to a sports column in the history of writing on the Internet.

At any rate, last week was pure suck, going 0-5. If it were easy, everyone would do it, assuming they had the time. We’ll try to be better this week.

5. South Carolina over Missouri

The Tigs are at home, but they’re missing Maty Mauk, who in spite of some play that calls to mind three-week-old leftovers being your only dinner option in the back of the fridge thus far this season, is their best option at getting wins. South Carolina hasn’t lit the world on fire, either, but I don’t think it’ll take more than 17-20 to get this outfit done, and Steve Spurrier might dissipate into pure dust on the sidelines if the Gamecocks can’t get to that number against this Mizzou squad right now.

4. Alabama over Georgia

This is literally the third time I’ve had to put something on (Internet) paper regarding this game for this site, and my opinion hasn’t changed once. Alabama will win because: Click here to find out! (that, my friends, is click bait).

3. Colorado over Oregon

This is the equivalent of quitting smoking cold turkey, the way I’m sort of chucking Oregon to the wolves by saying the Ducks are going to get fleeced by Colorado. It feels like Colorado hasn’t won a meaningful football game since there was a Clinton in office, and by God, hopefully that stays the same forever (not the Colorado part, the other one). I just have this hunch Oregon is fraying at the seams for the moment, and big changes will be coming there soon. I also have a hunch if I get one of these wrong, it’s this one, making it the anti-shocker? Not sure how that works.

2. SMU over East Carolina

On a basic level, all we really know about SMU is that the Mustangs are not ready to contend for the Big 12 title, since they’ve been sacrificial lambs for both Baylor and TCU at this point. Insomuch as teams in Texas go, they’ve become “the guy you invite over to the party because he always brings free beer.” ECU is coming off an emotional win over Virginia Tech and is going on the road, primed for a nice little letdown.

1. Florida over Ole Miss

Much like the Alabama and Georgia scenario, this is a game I’ve already touched on a few times. The one thing I didn’t mention in either of those is that I think Jim McElwain is doing a good job getting the most out of his guys. You can just sort of see the faith they have in the process when watching them play. He’s going up against another guy who does the same in Hugh Freeze. I’m not sold on Chad Kelly not doing something he shouldn’t do, and I just think when you do it against that Florida secondary, you’re throwing beer bottles out of a speeding sports car on the highway. Florida actually has a much better defense than Alabama does.

Last Week: 0-5

Season: 4-15

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