The end is near for Will Muschamp and around every corner it’s staring him right in the face. This time somebody took to Craigslist to post for applicants for his job.
A couple of highlights from the posting…..
– Because UF is a DESTINATION coaching job, applicants must have ALREADY had head coaching experience.
– If hired, you must be previously groomed to 1) Win consistently, 2) Stay for more than 4 seasons, and 3) have composure when roaming the sidelines. Composure includes but is not limited to 1) not screaming at players & referees regularly, 2) resisting facial expressions suggesting you are ready to commit violent acts on the sideline, 3) not taking personal shots at other fan bases on live tv after barely winning a game you should have lost, and 4) not looking like a deer in the headlights when things go wrong… repeatedly, caused on the field by your own first-teamers.
– Ability to win games against glorified high schools and junior colleges, aka “cupcakes”
– Your offense must be able to score more points than the opposing team’s defense.
– Ability to start a quarterback that can discern between Gators players and opposing players when throwing passes.
– Must not be a graduate of the University of Georgia.
– Must not have the last name of Zook.
If your last name is Spurrier, you can skip the interview process this time. Seriously. We’re sorry. Very sorry. The job is yours. We’ll help you pack. Name your price. Please come back.
h/t CBS Sports