Poll Dancing: Playoff projections 5

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College football is like finding a gal to marry every year. You start out in your late teens/early 20s, not really thinking about it with a hundred or so candidates, and then you start culling them. Bad dates, no ambition, frumpy dresser, no sense of humor, etc.

It’s the same as the way college football weeds them out starting in late August and then starts getting pickier around this time (mid 20s). Pretty soon, he’ll be pushing 30 and have to make a decision. It’s a “use the restroom or get off the pot” sort of thing.

Next weekend is a big weekend for that. He’s taking a bunch of the gals in a limo for a night out, and by the time it’s over, there will be significantly fewer candidates for marriage. So for teams like Arizona State, Notre Dame, Michigan State, Ohio State, and basically the upper crust of the Big 12 … find some nice heels and a short skirt, grab some extra lip gloss, and don’t forget to pack your personalities.

Projected in as of this week

1. Florida State
2. Mississippi State
3. Oregon
4. TCU

‘Splaination: TCU jumps over Notre Dame this week by virtue of an elite-ish win against fired up and frisky West Virginia, plus because the Horned Frogs have a schedule that if they hold serve at home and beat the teams they’re supposed to beat, they won’t lose again. Plus … no Big 12 title game to wrangle with.

On the porch with a beer waiting to be invited in

5. Michigan State
6. Auburn
7. Notre Dame
8. Arizona State

‘Splaination: We get the deal with Michigan State; Auburn managed a split in its Magnolia State tour, but might need two Missy State losses; Notre Dame and ASU play a default playoff game next weekend. Every week in the regular season is the playoffs, and all that.*

At the store getting a six pack, hoping that gets them an invite

9. Alabama
10. Ohio State
11. Baylor
12. Nebraska

‘Splaination: Alabama was aided greatly by Auburn. The Tide now control their own destiny and will do such things at home; Ohio State’s season comes down to next weekend; Baylor and Nebraska are just sort of hanging out laughing at everyone else’s collateral damage as they rise.

On the couch at 11 p.m., fruitlessly hoping someone texts with plans

13. Kansas State
14. Duke

‘Splaination: Neither is getting in. KSU has too tough of a schedule to close it out, and Duke would probably need to not only win out, but eviscerate Florida State in the ACC title game.

That’s it. I’m not slugging 2-loss teams in there because we’re getting to that point in the season where, whether you wanna comb over talk radio about it or not, it’s not happening. There are too many 1-loss football teams and too few weeks to go. If you have two losses, you’re not getting in this season. Apologies. Not really, but you know.

*Now with one loss during playoff games instead of zero! Yay, playoffs! (eye roll)